Attendance 100+

BVH3R1

On 19th April 1998 Bourne Valley H3 celebrated its first birthday. We didn't have a weekend affair but just switched to a Sunday morning from our usual Tuesday evening for the run and over 100 hashers turned up for what turned out to be one of the best days in hashing I have ever had. The trail was laid from The Bullington Cross Inn at the crossroads of the A34 and the A303 (near Andover) and the fun started in the car park before the run had even started. Whilst I was announcing (bullshitting) to the pack about how wonderful a trail it was going to be. A handle-less hasher called Dave Peart began to feel aroused by a hot damp sensation in his legs much to the enjoyment of the others when he suddenly realised that someone's hash mutt was pissing down his legs! (He was later christened 'HOT LEGS')

Hashers from all over the south of England and one or two from much farther afield took part in a run which had just about everything. Permission from a couple of local farmers enabled us to cover some unfamiliar territory and towards the end, as some hashers were getting well shiggied up in some mud alongside a small river, 'WINDY MILLAR' decided to avoid it by swimming front crawl up the freezing cold river in all of 12 inches of water. I was near the back and when I got back to the pub, my fellow hare Hamlet and all the others were already well into the local brew and busy buying the brilliant Bourne Valley H3 T shirts (complete with our infamously discreet logo) from the lovely 'TWO HANDS' and paying the very modest £2 subs (free buffet included as usual) to the harassed and not so beautiful 'HEFFER' who had missed most of the run looking for his lost dog 'SALLY'. Next it was time for the ceremonies and with our permanent RA 'HOGGY' presiding it was a hilarious affair (how he thinks it all up I do not know). HOGGY's graphic description of how my well-travelled trainers finally gave up on me, one part having become completely detached from the rest of the shoe, was of particular 'note'. He had the whole congregation crying and singing "You picked a fine time to leave me Lucile (loose heel)".

The quite lengthy down downs completed, we went inside for the drawing of the equally hilarious Hash raffle. Top prize, donated by HOGGY himself, was an amazing 'coloured' TV complete with Nicam stereo and an innovative remote control system which was said to never need batteries. This was won by 'STOKER' and turned out to be an old black and white set. The 'coloured' was drawn all over the white plastic casing in felt tip pens, the nicam stereo speakers were also drawn on with felt tips and the remote control system was an enormously long length of wood doweling which was brilliantly demonstrated by HOGGY from way across the other side of the room. Another good one was when 'BUZBY' thought he had won a Moped but it turned out to be a 'MOP HEAD'.

After the raffle we had all wet ourselves so went to the loo then back to the bar for replenishment. Finally we devoured a wonderful 'FREE' Buffet before heading off home. A really great time was had by all. Thank you all who came and ran, especially those who helped organise and a big thank you to the proprietors of the pub, Spike and his good ladyTasha, who provided the venue, laid on the buffet and got me completely rat-arsed! I did stay sober long enough though to produce a pretty amusing video of the event, in fact its hilarious. If you would like to order a copy please contact me, CLEPTO (alias THE BORG) on 01264 383270(W) or 01264 738632(H), or by email clepto@h3run.fsnet.co.uk.

Footnote - The Bourne Valley Hash has very quickly developed into a sort of Monthly Mini Interhash with currently 75 to 90 hashers from Hampshire and the surrounding counties turning up on the first Tuesday of the month for a 7 pm run. So, if you don't have details of forthcoming venues and don't want to miss out on this popular event, phone me immediately on 01264 738632 or email clepto@h3run.fsnet.co.uk.

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